the juneberry or saskatoon or serviceberry grows on bushes all over north america and nobody knows what they are. they even grow right here on campus outside the Stata Center. why buy food on campus when you can just eat it off the tree (and floor?). i saw those trees and i knew exactly what i needed to do... and you can do it too! just follow these 15 easy steps:
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1. find juneberry tree like this one.
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2. procure one connie yeh to help. (accept no substitutions)
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3. have her pick the berries for you. only pick the purpley ones
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4. steal the berries away from her (when she isn't looking. muahah)
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5. wash them berries!
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6. put them into a pot with water to cover and some lemon juice
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7. add an unhealthy amount of sugar
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8. boil
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9. fashion a turban out of vynil tubing
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10. the stuff should reduce to
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11. press it through a sieve.
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12. get a friend to help. i recommend the connie yeh variety when in season
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13. it should look like this! or maybe a bit thicker
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14. pour it into a sterile jar without looking
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15. after refridgeration you can put it on toast!
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